Dear Afrikan Girl, Lessons from My Brother

DIARY OF A SUPPOSED-TO-BE-BALLING-AFRIKAN-GIRL

Dear Afrikan Girl,

I have been off the radar for five days. I know and I am sorry. Find out why Here.

Meanwhile,

I want to show you some pictures:

You must be wondering why I am showing you these twisted pieces of metal crap that once upon a time were brand new cars.

                                                                             ******

My heart is heavy with grief. 

My soul is empty, and my feelings completely at the cusp of chaos.

                                                    ***

 Tears flow freely from my eyes, as I think of one who was gone too soon...

                                                                                                                       On this same day last year,                               I lost my older brother NSAME GIDEON NGO (April 1978- July 2013). 

He died in a car accident. 

 Gideon was such a gift to the universe, and taught me so many lessons.

Before I share those with you, I want to tell you a few things:

***

1. Gideon was my foster brother. Before I was born,
he already lived with us, and I couldn't be more thankful for him. Ever so gentle, ever so kind...

Me wearing green dress. Gideon wearing white in back, admiring my new baby brother Glenn.

2. We were very close, and had sooooooo many memories together.

3. The last conversation I had with Gideon in person was in December 2012, when we lost our grandfather, and went back to Cameroon. Our very last conversation was on our parents' bed.

We had so much fun...

I told him of all the things I had learnt in America, including

why almond milk is better for you than cow milk.

He was interested in trying it.

He told me how proud he was of me... and of the fact that I was actually doing the things I said I would do.

      He also told me about the new Sickle Cell Foundation that he was interested in starting, since he had just lost his biological little brother Victor to sickle cell, after years of heavy hospital bills and several failed treatments.

Read more about Sickle Cell Here.

4. Our last conversation happened two weeks before the accident. I was in Vegas doing pick up shots for the movie One Night in Vegas,  when he suddenly came online. My Skype status read: Do not Disturb.

And then, he wrote to me saying 'I will disturb'. That was a very typical thing for Gideon to do, and I started laughing.

We spoke in length. He was in Spain for work, and said he would have loved to go to Vegas with me.

Why am I telling you all this? 

I know I am sad,

 but I don't want your pity... 

Neither am I asking for any kind of apology. 

I have been crying all day,

but it's not your fault, neither is it his, or God's or any one really.

****

 In all this, I decided to use this, I decided to give you a message that my brother would have wanted to share with you, if he were in my shoes.

So...

THIS IS NOT A SAD POST.

???

LOL.
Just kidding.

 7 Lessons We can All Learn From from Gideon's Life and Death

Gideon was loved by all. I don't just say this because I'm his sister, and so I must say whatever nice thing I feel like saying towards him. Nothing like that at all. He was loved by every one, and there were so many reasons why, and I believe we can adopt one or two into our lives,  from the long list.

1) SMILE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND:

 

Ask any one to describe him in three words, and the first one to come out is 'smile'*. He was always smiling, even when he was ill, or business wasn't moving as well.


He would often walk into the house, and offer us all a smiley-faced greeting. Never a dull moment*

Learn why Smiling is Good For You.

2) DREAM BIG AND BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS:


My brother was a dreamer, and so am I...
Before alien movies were the norm, Gideon spoke to me of the possibility of other worlds. He wanted his house built with robots, and he was all about Physics.

  He dreamt of an Africa where

  internet connections would be fast,     and available to all, in a stable        manner, and I have never seen  any one follow through and  pursue their goal with such a high zeal.

He was one of the only few people who understood and nurtured my vision to impact the world using media. He inspired me, by example, and I had no choice but to follow.


3) FOLLOW THROUGH:
Learn How to Follow Through.

Before taking commercial acting classes with Mike Pointer,

 I never used this phrase as often as I do now,

 but 

 here it goes, 

'Follow through is more important than starting a cause'. 

This is one of the most valuable lessons I learnt

 from my brother's life.

 He was the founder and  CEO of  Netadoo:

A pioneer telecoms company that worked with VSAT deployments in Sub Saharan Africa. He did installations in Cameroon, Nigeria, Gabon, CAR, Congo DRC and so on.

http://www.netadoo.com/

Having a company like this in Cameroon, at that time was not exactly on the list of top 10 easiest companies to run, so obviously sometimes it was hard.

I remember him refusing to give up, even when his empire was at the brink of destruction. I remember always thinking to myself: this is how I want to be when I grow up.


4) MINDFUL THINKING:

Gideon's university rapper days, when he was called 'King Boys'.

   He also had a mind of his own. I loved watching my brother stand firm on his grounds to say he didn't want to get married at that time, when pressure was being mounted on him severally, to find a wife.

Read when to Say No to African Culture.Here.

I admired that, and it also taught me a lot on life, and perspective. Never allow a person to force their ideals and beliefs on you, not even myself.

At the end of the day, you have yourself to answer to.

And Gideon, Knew that.






5) ENJOY YOUR LIFE:

Learn How to Enjoy Your Life

Enjoy your life. Whatever this means to you...
Do what makes you happy and enjoy your life to the fullest.

Gideon knew this, and applied it in every step of the way. He lived in his bliss, and followed his dreams. He did what made him happy...

He loved traveling... His work took him all over the world...

Learn How To Pack for Travel to Cameroon.

Picture of Gideon in Israel.

Back in university, he was also a performer.

Gideon with his rap crew.

Performing on stage at the University of Buea, Cameroon.

6)  FIGHT FOR A CAUSE: 

 My brother fought for sickle cell. 

                                                                                         Read more about Sickle Cell.

WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR?

How did you spend that extra $10 that you had absolutely no use for?

Learn How To Donate Correctly.

7) LOVE, LOVE, LOVE:

 My brother was a very loving human being. He loved LOVE, loved his family, his friends, and his work!

In his life and death, he taught me the lesson of love and forgiveness. In his life, because he was a very happy person. As aforementioned, he was always smiling. His laugh was as gentle as snow, and his eyes always tender. His lips mostly spoke positive words.

Good Energy.

That was Gideon...

 In his death, I also learnt a lesson: one stark as nakedness, and filled with truth and advice that all of us could use.

Gideon died unexpectedly. He wasn't ill, neither was it something any of us saw coming!

It was a wham! Bam! Thank you- he-is-dead!

That taught me a big lesson: 

***

Live every day as if it were your last!

No laziness, no breaking of peoples' hearts, no procrastination... none of that stuff...

Yes, its easier said than done, but you can try!

When you are wrong, apologize.

If you love some one, tell them you do.

Never leave any one on bad terms! I don't care how angry you are!

Because it may be your last chance to ever tell them anything,

and trust me, you don't want that experience for yourself.

The guilt is too much!

[Read the Lesson Here]

                                                                           ***

I know you are ready to end here, but There is more to be said!

The details about the cause my brother's death were never known. No one knows what happened.

All we saw was the damaged car, crushed against the wall, and driver rushed to the hospital, in a deep coma, which he never came out of.

That being said, it makes no sense to end this article here, without addressing the following concerns:

DRIVE SAFELY!!!

-Don't drink and drive

- Don't text and drive

- Don't drive in bad weather

- Follow the Signs

READ FULL ARTICLE HERE.

 Good bye to you smiling angel. I love you always. 

I can't believe you are gone.

I had to unfriend you on Facebook, because I always thought you were alive, and wrote to you.

A candle for you.

Dedicated to Nsame Gideon Ngo.

I lost my grandfather in 2012, and so for now, my family has lost two fallen heroes!

''Two men driven by great ideas

Two men driven by the inspiration to achieve their goals and go beyond their dreams

Two men who would make you see the world out of the little you had.

Gone too soon. Will be Missed.

You live in us and will not be forgotten ''

- Serge Fondufe

#12 Bonus: Share this post *

Dear Afrikan Girl, If you Liked this article, please SHARE it with a good friend, an African sistah or some one who might appreciate it. 

                                                  

***

That being said,

Remember to remember...

Love you all!

Please Follow me on Social media! 

#Vlog. Coming This August. Subscribe ASAP!

Facebook.

Twitter. @sahndrafondufe

@sahndrafondufe on Instagram.

****

With my older brother Serge I love you all!

With my older brother Glenn. I love you all!!!

I love you all... 

Please Subscribe ... [Learn How Here ]

and

Souba!

Yours Sincerely, Stay Authentik!

See You Soon...

                           Sahndra Fon Dufe [ www.sahndrafondufe.com ]